Left Behind On White Sands
by northpeach
Summary: The War left a mark on them, on their souls. It's hard to return to normal life in a world where war is just a word, a story in a book. Where the scars aren't seen on their bodies, but their souls tell a different story. To others, war is just a chapter in history, an answer on a test or a title on a book. But it's okay, they're strong. They'll be alright. Without anyone's help.
1. Chapter 1

He dreams.

In the waking hours as he sleeps on the edge of alertness and exhaustion. He can feel the blood dripping down to pool on the soft earth. He can feel the wind, dry and scented with the bitter taste of iron. He dreams of blues and greens, of screams and tears, and his scars _ache_.

He dreams of white sands.

As his eyes slide shut and he breaths deep, he can feel the world stop and the dark fall. He can feel the water pressing down. He isn't drowning. Not in water, not in blood, he refuses to drown. He's only dreaming, after all.

He dreams of red.

Painting the sands, the walls, the remains of a ruined city, he sees so much _red_. He tastes it in his mouth. Of blood and sand and dirt. His hands are dripping red and his body is shaking. Is it exhaustion or fear? Is it both? Does it matter? He's only dreaming, you know.

He dreams of fire and rage and madness.

He hears the agonizing screams and smells the smoke. He feels the heat of flames, feels them as they die. He feels hopeless and lost as he stares into a smiling visage. Again and again he raises his arms, raises his sword, to _protect,_ to _defend_ , to _win._ Because he has to, for their sake, for peace. He doesn't win, but then again, he's only dreaming.

The moon still hangs in the sky when Kurosaki Ichigo bolts up from his bed, choking off a scream of pain, of desperation. He stills instictively, listening to the silence in the familiar setting of his bedroom. With a shaky exhale, he closes his eyes and wonders if he'll hear a voice from his soul. He knows he won't, but he does it anyway. Another exhale and he turns his attention to look out his window.

He is only dreaming.

The sky is blue. It's still dark, but there is light and the sky is very obviously blue. There are the fainting lights of stars and he can't see the moon. There is no sand. The world is more than black and white.

He already knows he cannot go back to sleep, but he lays down anyway. He is pretending, just pretending to be normal. Normal people aren't haunted the way he is.

The scars lining his skin ache with phantom pain. He thinks there's a pulse in his head. But it's gone within milliseconds.

He could still be dreaming.

Exhale.

He is normal.

Everything he has every wanted to be.

Kurosaki Ichigo does not possess a Hollow. A Zanpakuto. He cannot walk on air. He is not a Shinigami, Substitute or not. He does not see ghosts.

It's only been a week.

Normal is all he ever wanted to be.

 _You never really appreciate something until it's gone_ , a part of him whispers, _That was your 'normal'. Seven days and you only resigned yourself. Not happily accepted._

 _Shut up,_ he whispers back.

He's still dreaming because he never wanted to be able to see ghosts, to fight against a Shinigami aiming for godhood, to fight a war to stop him. He never wanted that. Never wanted the pain and the sorrow and white sands. He wants to be normal.

He is normal.

And a part of him _weeps._

.

.

She mourns.

In the dark, alone and _safe_ , she mourns. She sobs silently to herself, clutching at her chest, grasping at her clothes. Her heart burns, her soul aches. It hurts and she forgets to breath, _she can't breath_. But she inhales. _Exhales_. And she remembers she can. She remembers much more, laying in the darkness. She remembers smiles and laughter and freedom. And she knows.

She knows it can never be quite the same.

 _Goodbye, Halcyon Days._

So she mourns.

For her lost innocence. For the lost peace and the easy smiles and the bright shine of _life_ and she wonders if her smiles look as fragile and brittle as they feel. She remembers the last smile that stretched her lips, without thought, without effort. She remembers when her determination shone brightly as the sun and she thinks of green eyes. _Hollow, dead, green, black_ -

Breath, she reminds herself.

 _Inhale._

 _Exhale_.

She was strong. She stood and did not falter. She walked and did not stumble. She built a wall that only fell when _she_ let them, even though _they_ smiled so pleasantly at her as they played with her life in pale hands. But her walls still stood, though crumbling and fragile, they still stood 'til the end. They only shattered when the world was reduced to a single person.

Black and white and _green_ she remembers and she forgets.

And she mourns.

For what was lost, for what was found, for the dead and the living, Inoue Orihime mourns for what she has seen and what she has done.

She wishes she was stronger. She knows her weaknesses and she knows her strength. Now, she does, now that they've been thrown in her face, but she is determined to get _stronger_. Because she has lost a part of her and gained another and _she knows_ something will come again, something will come to take away the light. And war will come again.

So she will get stronger and she'll fight and heal and _protect_. And she'll stand tall and proud, _determined_ in the sun and she'll be ready.

Just as soon as her tears stop.

Just as soon as she can remember to breath.

Just… just as soon as she knows she has mourned enough.

She is the Healer. She is not meant to be a warrior, but if she _must_ , she will return her enemies to dust. She will reject their existence as she erases the scars her friends carry.

And just for now...just for now Inoue Orihime will mourn.

.

.

 **A/N There aren't enough stories about how Ichigo and The Group adjust to fighting and almost dying and Ichigo resigning himself to losing his powers. Sadly, Disharmony: Notes and Scars is the only I could find, although the sheer awesomeness of _that_ fic doesn't make up for the _lack_ of similar ones, I just wanted to point it out to you.**

 **QUESTION: Does anybody think that Orihime might have developed a form of Stockholm Syndrome? Or Ichigo slight PTSD? What about Chad/Sado and his vow to only protect and then he goes and manifests a power solely meant to attack? And Ishida with seeing a friend turn into a monster and run him through with his sword? Seriously! These are only teenagers, there has to _some_ sort of mental or psychological issues that come from this!**


	2. Chapter 2

He trains.

In the early morning, he stands firm and determined. Gather, pull, hold, release and repeat. Again and again, ignoring the blood dripping from his fingertips, gather, pull, hold, release. Shining blue, sleek and slender, long and large, small and compact, he releases many arrows, each hitting its target. Not all are hitting the center, but at least the target is struck.

He trains to forget and remember.

To forget monsters and demons and death. To remember his weakness and strength. This will not be repeated. Whatever must be done, he will do to protect those he claims as friends. Gather, pull, hold, release.

He trains to be faster, stronger, to last longer.

More power, less power, it shouldn't matter, the accuracy should remain the same. No matter how many arrows, how many targets, their strength, it shouldn't matter. His arrows destroy souls. More importantly, his arrows will eradicate his enemies. He's still not sure if he wants to dwell on that thought.

But still he trains.

He will not be weak. Never again will such lengths and measures be necessary. Never again should anyone sell their soul to gain power because he'll be there and he will be stronger then the last time.

So as the sun breaks the horizon, Ishida Uuryu trains until he's gasping for breath and sweat is rolling down his face and when he closes his eyes he can't see white sands. He trains to remember monsters and demons and death, to be strong enough so it need not happen again. He trains to forget weakness and strength so he will stand firm. He knows one day it might not be enough. He knows, one day, he will have to say 'good bye' but he will train anyway because he might not have to.

He trains even harder at that though because he knows that's wishful thinking.

His arms tremble and he pauses just a moment to catch his breath and to flick the blood from his fingers.

Deep breaths.

White sands.

He wakes in the night screams echoing in his ears, of Inoue Orihime, of a Hollow who used to be Kurosaki Ichigo. He wakes with his breath caught in his throat because the pressure is so heavy and unlike anything he's ever felt. He unconsciously clenches his hand in the fabric of his shirt against his stomach and vividly remembers the black blade that pierced him.

He trains because he's that last Quincy and because he's the idiot that calls a _Shinigami_ , and a human with _Hollow_ power, _and_ a woman with the ability to _reject reality_ friends, actual _friends_ , _comrades_ , whatever. They are all he has and he's never going to admit it, not to _anyone_ , but he wants to protect them.

Still… he has other things he needs to do and he still knows, one day he's going to say 'good bye'.

But he's still training.

Because he wants to be ready when the times comes, and a part of him _wishes_ and _hopes_ and whispers maybe he won't have to go that far. He shoves those down quickly though and looses another arrow. There's not much he can do.

But for now, he can train to ensure the safety of Karakura and of his friends.

The war is over and Ishida Uryuu is still training.

And for now, that is enough.

.

.

He is silent.

Silence is a necessity and he owes his life to silence. He knows that. Which is why when he walks, his steps are quiet, his breathing is soft and even his screams when he wakes from a night terror...well those are silent too.

He has always been a part of the silence.

He has known that for many years now. He has not minded the silence in those years, but now as he sits in his home in the dead of night he cannot help but think of how silence hurts. It was in silence he bled out on white sands. It was in silence in his waking moments that he still dreams of black and white. It was silence that answered him when he shouted for his comrades. It was in silence that he sat by the side of his best friend and waited for him to wake up.

There are days when silence is comforting and there are day when silence is terrifying.

It's only been a week. Seven days.

Seven days since they have returned to Karakura, seven days since his friend woke up, seven days since the war was officially over and they were home. Every single day was the silence terrifying. He was alone.

For the first time in his life, Yasutora Sado disliked the silence. It unnerved him. It reminded him of that desert, that endless desert. It was easier then because he had his friends, his comrades. They had been there right beside them. He could feel them so easily.

Especially Ichigo.

He couldn't feel him now.

It was… like standing in the middle of a graveyard, in the dark, in the _silence_.

Dislike twisted into something a little closer to hatred as that thought passed his mind.

He doesn't speak of it, but he remembers the first time he was struck down. Laying in a pool of his own blood and choking, gasping for breath in the darkness of his mind. His first enemy is an ally now. But he still remembers. He remembers the second time when his arm torn apart and again he was struggling for breath in the silence. He remembers the stillness as darkness crept into the way his best friend felt, as if devouring a part of him. He remembers as he could not feel his friend. He remembers the silence before his _friend_ began to _scream_.

His is silent, yet he hates silence.

He carries no horribly disfiguring scars, Orihime rejected them, leaving perfect white lines.

There is no blood pooling in his lunges, she rejected that too.

Smooth, unbroken, unblemished skin, save for white lines, but Yasutora Sado would swear he could feel every single place a sword carved into his flesh. He could feel the blood as he laid down to sleep as he dream again of white sands.

He looks out the window and leans his head back against the wall.

He did not notice as he got better with his senses how often he would unconsciously search out his friends, his comrades. One is missing. And for half a second and out of habit, he panics. Then he calms as he reminds himself of the cost of victory. The price of victory, the _sacrifice_ for victory.

With silent movements, he stands up and quietly walks back to bed.

He is still silent, in the darkness of a place he calls 'home'.

After the War, the Winter War in which if you make a single noise out of place the enemy would catch you, silence has become something like second nature.

Yasutora Sado is silent…

…and he hates it.

But he must be.

Because Kurosaki Ichigo is his friend and he won't ever break their promise.

.

.

 **A/N And there's the beginning...yay! Now to the actual story!**

 **QUESTION: Pretty sure that with focusing on the war and the whole month long of absences from the four, people would be questioning them and wondering where they went. Also people would have noticed those nifty reflexes and that strange fear of butterflies, ya think? (Unfortunately even though I know it's a manga for teenagers, I wish there was more realism. Well... as much realism as you can get for a manga about souls and Hollows and Shinigami...)**


	3. Chapter 3

The silence that has become necessary, the pain and phantom aches the still invoke flinches and winces, the exhaustion and edge, this is what people see as four teenagers walk down the street toward Karakura High School. Of course some people see more clearly than others, but it is so _glaringly obvious_ they aren't the same as they were four months ago.

When all four walked through the school gates for the first time _, together_ , in months, people stared. It wasn't like the previous times where Kurosaki and Ishida were arguing while the beautiful Hime looked on and smiled or laughed as Sado brought up the rear, silent and intimidating. There was a different hardness about them. An alertness and wary way they held themselves. The strange way they held together and the air they projected.

Ichigo's face was lacking his usual scowl, although his forehead was furrowed, as Chad and Ishida rotated around the only girl of the group. Orihime was pale with faint shadows under her eyes. She looked small and fragile, as if a stiff wind would knock her over. Out of all of them, she frankly looked the worst.

Only the very observant noticed her hands trembling faintly.

Of course, among the very observant were Arisawa Tatsuki, Honsho Chizuru, Asano Keigo and Kojima Mizuiro.

During the month in which Ichigo and the others had been in Soul Society recovering, they had all decided when their friends came back they would be there for them. They all remembered the terror they felt, waiting for the orange-headed youth to show up. They remembered the horror they felt as they ran from that… _thing_ … that had once been human. They knew they were traumatized and accepted it. After all who could have seen what they did and come out the same? They knew the other four would be worse. Much worse. Still when they caught their first glimpse of them, they hesitated.

Kurosaki Ichigo had always felt warm… _alive_ , even with that scowl on his face there always was a part of him that _sang_ and it was missing. Like something was torn from him, like he was _broken_. He looked _hard_ and his body was relaxed yet the lines his uniform made were tense.

Inoue Orhime, was a bright, beautiful girl who wanted to be a robot when she grew up, who was always open and friendly with a smile on her face, with a quiet confidence in who she was. The girl that just walked in was pale, fidgeting, and most alarmingly, she _flinched_ at loud noises and she was almost _hiding_ in the shadows of her friends.

And while Ishida Uryuu and Yasutora Chad looked normal, tall, taller and both silent and confident, the tension was clearly visible in their frames. The space and atmosphere around them frankly _screamed_ 'danger, stay away!'.

Tatsuki paid zero attention to this new version of her friend, rather she broke into a jog at the sight of her best friend, relief flooding her at the sight of the girl, pale and withdrawn as she was, along with an _ache_ that she had failed to protect her. Just a few steps to the side of Ichigo, she slowed and moved closer noticing the twitch of fingers in a half aborted gesture, sending him a look. Half-gratitude, half-worry with a dash of reassurance. Still, a smile spread over Orihime's face as her martial artist friend nearly melted in relief in front of her.

"Tatsuki-chan!"

"I'm glad," she whispered gently hugging the younger girl, "I'm glad you're okay."

Orihime's face contorted for a moment, before her fingers clenched in the other's shirt and her smile brightened, laughing shakily.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm fine!"

Tatsuki pulled back and briefly glanced at the tears gathering on Orihime's lashes, the stiff way her shoulders were set and those tell-tell dark smudges under her eyes. The way she had said ' _fine_ ' instead of ' _okay_ '. That did not go unnoticed. Mentally she reminded herself to suggest a sleepover as she nodded.

"I know," she whispered to Orihime, watching as she stiffened and froze, knowing her hime really needed someone to tell her she was fine, "I know."

Ramrod straight, she nodded jerkily before relaxing and her smile seemed more genuine. Returning it with one of her own, Tatsuki turned to Ichigo and lifted a brow.

"Don't think I'm going to apologize for bashing your head into the glass," she said warningly, her tone clearly saying she was happy to see him.

"Eh?! Tatsuki-chan did that?"

At the typical wide-eyed astonishment of Inoue, Ishida inserted himself into the conversation with a simple adjustment of his glasses.

"It was the talk of the school for weeks, actually."

Clapping her hands together, Orihime's eyes sparkled as she grinned at Ichigo and Tatsuki.

"Waa~! Tatsuki-chan is so strong!"

"Heh, that's right and you should remember that, Hime!"

They both laughed as Ichigo scowled and 'tch'ed and resumed his walk to the school, neatly sidestepping Chizuru who flung herself at her Hime, meeting her end at Arisawa's fist. The tension in him lessened at Keigo broke out the waterworks, but didn't attempt to hug him and Mizuiro offered a simple 'good morning'. To the relief of their friends, Chad and Ishida also relaxed as a loose barrier was erected with the other's presence. Even with this, those who only knew Ichigo, Ishida, Orihime and Chad by their reputation and sight alone, were disturbed at the changes and the dangerous feel about them. Each one wondered how that weakling Asano Keigo could stand to be around the orange haired delinquent.

For once Honsho Chizuru wasn't groping the gorgeous Hime and the womanizing Kojima Mizuiro wasn't on his phone. That Ishida Uryuu was hanging around them in the hallway, in plain sight, was startling. The teacher's eyes narrowed as they took in the teens. Some gaped, others staggered. It was blatantly obvious that something major and traumatic had happened to them in the four months they had been missing.

Those who had called the Kurosaki household, or phoned Ishida Ryuuken inquiring about the mysterious disappearance after that Arisawa girl bashed Kurosaki's head into the window, knew the excuses of 'family matters' and 'business' was total bull. Even the other four, they all showed signs of stress in their features and seemed to understand the problems the group was so glaring having.

Students began to whisper to themselves as they passed, in a defensive group. Some were worried and concerned, other were cruelly amused and there were those that were just surprised and confused. Sadly all were lacking in their tact so their 'whispers' were easily carried.

"Oh, my _gawd_ , did you see that _look_ on Inoune-chan's _face?_ "

"That delinquent probably got his ass kicked-"

"Ishida-san is actually with Kurosaki?!"

"What _happened_ to them? They look so-"

" _Scary._ "

"They probably broke the law and were thrown into juvie-"

"Shut up, there's _no way_ juvie does that to a guy!"

"It obviously happened to the _four_ of them, dumbass!"

The slamming of a classroom door brought a swift end to the gossipers in hearing distance as they all turned to look into the murderous glare decorating Kurosaki's face. There was a stilted silence as the group of eight entered their classroom. They headed straight to their corner in the back of the room. A defensive position with Kurosaki sitting at the front.

When Ochi-sensei walked into her classroom and laid eyes on the group, she frowned and narrowed her eyes. Not many knew, but her father had died young in the line of duty as a police officer. Her uncle was yakuza, strangely enough and he had raised her from the age of thirteen. The look on those kids' faces she recognized very easily.

They had seen someone _die._

She could read it so easily in their posture, their expressions, everything about them just screamed 'went through traumatic event'. Her gaze roamed around the classroom noting the Inoue girl's pale and faintly trembling hands, the way that martial artist best friend of hers had scooted her desk closer. She _saw_ the gentle giant blending in with the almost non-existent shadows in the corner of the room. And the craft club kid, he was rubbing a medallion at his wrist, turning it over and over and over again with bandaged fingers.

A nervous tick he did _not_ have four months ago.

Then there were the other people that usually hung around Kurosaki, that texting pretty boy and the perverted drama queen. They looked… _aged_ … as if they had seen darkness and suddenly understood a part of the world they hadn't before.

Quite frankly, Ochi Misato was very concerned with her favorite students. With a sharp clack, she threw the roster down on her podium. She would keep an eye on that group.

This was worrying and in no way was it _normal._

 _._

 _._

 **A/N Ugh, I said this was coming out on Saturday. Two weeks ago. Or was it three weeks ago? Anyway, sorry about that. I've started college classes. Yay me! No idea where I found the time to write this, but thanks for waiting (even if you had no choice)!**

 **QUESTION: Imagine the amount of times Ichigo, Chad, Orihime and Uryuu ran out of class with an excuse of bathroom, nurse's office or the like. Did any of the teachers think to question it? Try to follow them and saw Ichigo suddenly 'die'? I wonder if they took noticed that after their return, Ichigo never suddenly had to rush out. Of course, I'm saying this in a creepily similar way to when I am discussing reality so… Eheh...**


	4. Chapter 4

Orchi-sensei was watching them. Ishida noticed it first. He was writing with a pencil when he lost all feeling in his hand. His heart skipped several beats and his breath quickened. He very deliberately put his hand flat down on his desk and carefully controlled his breathing.

 _In through the nose, hold for three seconds, out through the mouth. Repeat._

The sound of a chair being shoved back and footsteps nearly upset his rhythm, but he ignored it. A flash of orange and a hand at his shoulder, as Ichigo spoke to the teacher.

"Excuse me, Sensei, but I need to borrow Ishida for a minute."

Uryuu stood instantly and headed straight for the door as pain spiked through his gut. Kurosaki's hand tightened and they ducked out of the room and were down the hall before the other students could utter a protest. As soon as they were around the corner, the black haired youth stumbled blindly until his back hit the wall and his leg gave out beneath him. They were both silent, save for his ragged breaths and the hand fisted against his stomach.

With a bone-weary sigh, Ichigo slid down to sit next to him. Ishida, for the most part, ignored him. They sat together, wordless, as the shakes and trembles stopped and the tension eased out of the teen's body.

"You think Ochi-sensei noticed?"

A beat of silence followed Ichigo's question before the other answered.

"Ah. She had her eyes on us and saw the instant I started acting differently," Uryuu said, his voice betraying only the slightest hint of anything less than composure.

Ichigo blew out a breath before plowing through into his next question.

"You lost feeling in your hand?"

Again, Ishida took a moment to answer, his head nodding in a sharp acknowledgement.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Kurosaki," he bit out, glaring at the other.

His mouth twisted into a parody of a smile, closer to a grimace and a frown before he turned away from Ishida's gaze.

"That was a part of me. It was _my_ Hollow," he huffed a bitter laugh, "Kurosaki Ichigo, Substitute Shinigami's Hollow."

A bell rung, cutting off his next words as doors slid back and footsteps and chattering filled the stillness of the hallway. Uryuu sighed and stood, avoiding the use of his hand, and turned to face the youth still sitting on the ground.

"It's wasn't your fault," he said intently, "Besides, have you ever wondered what would have happened if that part of you _didn't_ wake up?"

Ichigo quirked a crooked, almost pained, smile as he pushed off from the wall and nudged Uryuu with his shoulder.

"Every night I close my eyes and every morning I open them," he whispered before he pivoted to move along with the crowd of students hurrying to their next classes.

Ishida still stood, watching at the tall head of orange hair stalked off, relaxing as he felt the solid, towering presence of Sado and the light, willowy soothing feel of Inoue's reiatsu.

"You okay, Ishida-kun?"

Ishida threw a small smile in her direction before swiftly pushing up his frames, lenses gleaming in the light.

"Kurosaki is still the reckless, irksome person he was when I first met him. That hasn't changed."

The three exchanged glances, recognizing that Ishida was remarking on Ichigo's tendencies towards guilt for everyone wrong he had a hand in. Inoue sighed, knowing she blamed herself just as much as Kurosaki-kun did. Chad just grunted, aware that his strength was not enough to fight beside Ichigo. Nonetheless, they couldn't stand to be apart for long. With Ichigo losing his reiatsu, his lost warmth set them all on edge and they all wanted to stick close together. When they turned around to follow their unofficial leader, they were momentarily surprise to find him only a few feet away, waiting for them.

"We should get going," he said, something like teasing in his voice, "We've missed enough school as it is."

...

...

Everyone knew that something was different about the Quartet. They felt that new feeling of _danger_ , goose bumps and pricked hairs on the backs of their necks. Of course, there were still those who self-preservation instincts were defective. Well known thugs who were just waiting for the chance to confront that orange delinquent. Little did they know that the rest of the students were closely watching them to see how Kurosaki and his friends would react to them.

After all if he greeted Asano Keigo, a known friend with such violence for a simple 'good morning', what would he do to them when Kurosaki was in a bad mood?

The answer was quiet easy for anyone to guess as the confrontation began by four heavily pierced and mildly tattooed teens attempted to separate the beautiful Inoue-chan from the group. At the intake of a panicked breath and the release of a shuddering sob as one of them grabbed her harshly from behind, the other three spun around so fast they blurred.

In the seconds as the predicament Kurosaki observed Inoue was in and those watching blinked or quickly scattered out of the way, he took three long strides and sunk his fist into the face of the one holding her. Replacing their hands with his, Ichigo bodily picked up the hime and handed her off to the suddenly menacing Yasutora Sado. The expression on his face as his grabbed the front of his victim and jerked him close enough to whispered something into the other's ear, was beyond terrifying. Almost all of those gathered were absolutely certain he was going to kill that hapless idiot with the instincts of a lemming.

"Kurosaki."

Ishida Uryuu spoke only the orange-haired boy's man and he instantly ceased. With a move akin to shooing a fly away, Ichigo released the trembling delinquent to slam against the wall before crumbling to the floor in fear, blubbering like a baby.

With deliberate grace, he turned and joined the Quartet and together they continued down the hall as if nothing had happened. Well…almost as if nothing had happened.

"If you ever touch her again, not even Ishida will be able to stop me."

The voice seemed to leak killing intent and some would later swear there were two voices speaking, lapping over one another. Needless to say, the poor child still blubbering on the floor was quickly abandoned by his other three 'friends'.

Said 'friends' were immediately found by one Arisawa Tatsuki who managed to instill an bit of an instinctive flinch whenever the beautiful hime's name was mentioned. The less said about their reaction to Kurosaki Ichigo, the better.

...

...

When school let out, all four teenagers headed straight to Inoue's house, along with Tatsuki-chan.

The brief flash-back Orihime had as that thug grabbed her at school, had lead to her keeping a watchful eye over her shoulder for the duration of her day at school. Thankfully, Tatsuki-chan had stayed close by, followed by Sado-kun and Ishida-kun. She was happy when they finally reached her home and Ichigo did a quick sweep, ghosting in and out of each room with silent footsteps. As soon as they door had closed behind them, the tension gathered during their first day of school since the Winter War, melted off. Inoue smiled brightly.

While they didn't exactly _speak_ to each other, there was comfort in the silence, in the peace and the quiet. On noticing the rapidly cooling weather, Ishida-kun and Kurosaki-kun trooped to the back room to pull out to kotastu as Sado-kun settled on the floor in the living room as Inoue brought out several thick blankets while Tatsuki hovered closely to the hime. When they all settled on the floor, the wind was beginning to pick up and the temperature had lowered significantly.

Once all five had settled in the living Orihime let out a quiet sigh, turned half relieved sob.

There weren't going to be anymore ambushes or possible pop-up Hollow attacks. No spending their free-time worrying about friends and family and the _whole town_ of Karakura in general. No wondering if that Hollow's taunts about a loved one's death was just talk, no wondering if one of their spiritually aware friends had been captured or killed and Inoue was just _so glad_ that the tears suddenly pushed out.

Burying her face into her hands, she sobbed in the quiet, surround by her friends, by the people who _stood by her_ and _fought and bled_ for _her_. The boys didn't says anything as Tatsuki smothered Orihime in a hug, but their presence was enough. Just the fact that if someone intended to do her harm, they would have to go through all of them.

There was a new part of her, of _them_ , that feared separation. Dreaded it. Ishida, the anti-social Quincy, was rarely at his house. Instead, he was spending his days with Chad or Inoue, even Kurosaki. Not that either of them minded despite the taunts and insults through between the two of them. It was reassuring. Especially since Chad and Orihime really could quite be comfortable without being around the others. Ichigo still flinched and twitched when he couldn't immediately catch sight of them and while Ishida _will not ever_ admit it, he had a small panic attack one night, waking up from a nightmare, when he realized he couldn't _feel Kurosaki's reiatsu._

The following heart attack originating from the almost hug that he gave said orange-haired boy when he did see him, was never mentioned. _Ever._

Neither the way Ishida sometimes lost feeling in his hand or broke into desperate, pained breaths. The way that Chad would clutch at his arm his hands clenching into fists. The way sometimes Inoue would avoid food unless she made it herself. Or at least saw the preparation.

They all knew something was wrong with them, as did their friends, but they'd already suffered together might as well help each other to get better. Of course, there was a part of them that worried Keigo, Mizuiro and Tatsuki wouldn't have understood and kept away. That they didn't ask any questions and were just there for them if they needed was something they cherished.

It wasn't like Chad or Inoue _had_ anyone else save for Ichigo, Tatsuki or Ishida. The relationship between said Quincy and his father was just about as good as Ichigo's save for their interactions. And while Ichigo had his sisters, there was no way in _hell_ he would _ever_ subject them to the horrors of war he went through. In short, all four knew beyond Tatsuki, Mizuiro and Keigo there wasn't going to be anyone they could truly relax around. Unless it was the Vizard or Shinigami.

Even learning his father had been a Shinigami hadn't helped Ichigo and no matter what he had said about waiting so he didn't trample on the man's feelings, a part of him screamed out, ' _what about_ my _feelings?_ '.

Only Uryuu actually knew about the part of Ichigo that hated and resented his father. After all, the other boy shared it in himself as well.

The fact that Kurosaki Isshin hadn't been a role model and save for the ridiculous excuse for greetings and wake-up calls, had basically ignored him. Ichigo had learned a long time ago, his father was not one you could come to and speak about your problems, much less your nightmares and fears. What had irritated him beyond belief was that he had spend so many nights in that God-forsaken dessert, wondering and worrying about the safety of his sisters and that old goat-face had been perfectly able to protect them and _hadn't told him._

That right there was the reason he was never going to ask his father for help, for advice, _nothing_. He was going to ignore it and if the opportunity came about, he would find out by himself.

Sometimes he wondered if his father actually knew his son was angry and held a bit of hatred towards him. Ichigo doubted it. He disliked to lie, but he was an expert at concealing his emotions…not that anyone would actually guess that.

After all, who could take a look at Kurosaki Ichigo and see the depth he tried so hard to hide? Besides the very same people that fought along side him in the war, those who were there in the beginning, there for the worst parts and there while they all tried to heal.

Ichigo found Chad first. Inoue came with Tatsuki and Rukia brought Ishida along. Although Tatsuki had fallen behind and Rukia was gone now, those three were still there.

And as Ichigo stared at Orihime as she sobbed as if her heart was breaking into Tatsuki's arms, as Ishida moved to guard his back just as Chad was, he swore to himself, he would do everything in his power to keep them safe.

 **A/N Hey! It's been a month since I've updated this...wow... As people have probably noticed, I've started...er...three new fictions! Or four. But still! As I am still busy with college classes and my sudden desire for Skull from KHR as Harry from HP, and my Inuyasha Self-Insert, this will probably only get updated once a month. Or when inspiration strikes!**

 **Be warned, I might thrown out a Star Wars and a Chronicles of Narnia fic sometime soon. Thanks for taking the time to read this!**

 **Y'all are awesome!**

 **Yours,**

 **NP**


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